Dismantling the Fairy Tale: How to Get Real About Your Writing

Tired of reading advice articles for writers, the ones telling you to keep your head down, keep doing the work, keep going until you find success?

You see them on Twitter, on Facebook, on countless writers’ blogs.

By now, you don’t even have to read them; you know what they’re going to say:

• Study your genre
• Write 2000 words a day
• Query agents until someone bites
• Rinse and repeat
• Blah, blah

So, you follow along, drafting, revising, editing, and querying.

Day after day, you pour your heart and soul out onto the page…

And nothing happens.

So you keep writing, writing, writing, until weeks turn into months…

You keep going.

And what happens?

Nothing happens.

Absolutely nothing.

Eventually, you start to feel anxious.

You wake up in the middle of the night, wrestling with dark, excruciating thoughts:

• What if I never make it?
• What if I’m just not good enough?
• What if it all comes down to luck, and I never win this lottery?

And the worst thought of all…

What if it’s all been a waste of time? 

I get it.

I know how you feel, but things aren’t as bad as they seem.

Ready for the truth?

You can make progress with your writing, and you can enjoy the journey, too.

Want to know the best part?

You don’t have to give up on your dream or give in to despair.

You can actually turn these obstacles into stepping stones to help you reach your destination.

You a reality check, a fresh perspective, an honest look at the truths and lies surrounding a writing career.

Interested?

Ready to get real about your writing?

Great!

Warning:

The first truth is the hardest to accept, but it’s essential to your survival…

Accept that Writing Offers No Guarantees

At some point, you probably idealized the life of a writer:

• indulging your passion,
• working your own hours,
• working wherever you want,
• getting published,
• receiving recognition,
• achieving bestseller status,
• negotiating movie deals…

Sounds great, but how close are these images to reality?

I’m hoping you can answer this one on your own 😉

Pretty far, right?

Ready for the truth?

Writing offers no guarantees.

Zero.

You’re working for free until you can leverage the following:

• a high level of competence/writing skills
• high quality, marketable books and/or writing products
• the right business connections
• enough confidence to persevere

It’s not all bad news, though.

You write because you must, because you have something to say, and you’d continue writing regardless of your circumstances.

Writing brings you joy, confidence, release. It helps you connect with life, with others, with the big secrets and questions we face as human beings.

And you write for yourself, first. You measure success by doing your best, by getting your thoughts onto the page. For you, writing is its own reward.

So, remind yourself, each time you feel overwhelmed, each time you succumb to worries about success or external validation, that you’re consciously choosing this magnificent process and the risks involved.

When you think about it, what are you really risking?

• A few hours of TV time per day?
• A few hours of sleep?
• An alternative job you can’t bear to face each day?

If you’re risking more than that, spend some time unraveling the costs and benefits. Find your truth.

After getting some clarity, choose accordingly.

You can pursue your dream and make a living. You may just need to get creative about it.

The first step is being honest with yourself.

Writing is Hard Work

Sometimes, when I’ve finished writing for the day, I like to spend time on Twitter — just enough to absorb some of the positive energy from the writing community.

Check out the hashtag if you’re unfamiliar (#WritingCommunity).

I’m amazed at the supportive tone, at the diverse ways writers reach out to help each other achieve their goals.

Most of the community gets it.

Writing is hard work. It’s not for those seeking immediate gratification.

Those folks tend to stand out.

The immediate gratification types frantically plug their books, hoping fame and fortune will come knocking. Some of them contact me, asking me for advice about marketing, about ways they can capitalize on their finished product.

The last one who contacted me seemed serious — so serious, I felt compelled to respond. The author recently released a nonfiction Kindle book. It had a great cover and a catchy title. It had a handful of positive reviews as well.

I decided to buy it, to try to figure out why it wasn’t selling.

I found out rather quickly.

The book was disappointing.

It didn’t go anywhere.

I felt like the writer was trying to hide something, like he was being careful not to reveal anything specific or truthful to the reader. A famous 1980s TV commercial comes to mind:

Where’s the beef?

Today, we’d call it a nothingburger.

Maybe, the writer was trying to figure it out during the process?

For whatever reason, the author didn’t complete the hard work.

Sure, it was grammatically clean, but the author never considered the basics of plot, structure, or character development. The author never asked “why would someone care,” or “have I delivered on my promise?”

A few hours studying narrative arc could have been a game changer.

Before purchasing and reading the book, I offered a ton of tips for marketing, for getting it in front of more readers.

You can probably guess what happened.

The author didn’t even thank me for the advice — advice he’d taken the time to ask me for.

I’m pretty sure I know why.

My recommendations looked like work — a lot of work.

This author hoped someone else would make him famous.

I’m not trying to be mean or condescending. It’s something I see all the time on the internet and in the classroom.

Lots of writers crave rewards without the work.

The work isn’t rocket science, either:

• Study the craft.
• Apply what you’ve learned to your work.
• Get feedback.

I’m often surprised by the number of writers who don’t study the craft. Some never seek feedback. Many, after receiving feedback, can’t or won’t accept it.

When you commit to the hard work, to “whatever it takes,” you’ll begin to see progress. And that progress will keep you going.

Writing is Lonely

I’m an introvert, and I’ve always been this way. After spending time in a crowd, at a party, or a long day in the classroom, I need a break.

For me, that break requires alone time (completely alone).

I need solitude to write well. I’ve tried it at work, between classes, between meetings, but it’s never the same. The conversations, the laughing, the chatter — these things distract me. I have a colleague a few doors down who sings hymns while he grades papers. Sigh.

To write, to be happy, to feel fulfilled, I need solitude.

Even though I prefer lots of alone time, it’s taken me years to realize how lonely writing can be. Sure, I’m energized by my time at the page, but the entire process can feel isolating.

For this reason, writing may be a bad fit for some. I’ve met lots of people who can’t spend that much time alone with themselves.

If, however, the seclusion doesn’t scare you, you’ll need to strike a balance between alone time/productivity and too much solitude.

It’s easy to get discouraged when you’re living in your head, wrestling with the inevitable, daily writing challenges. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.

When you find balance, you’ll look forward to all parts of your day — to your writing time and to the satisfaction you feel upon completion.

Consider keeping a journal of your activities for a week. Rate each activity by assigning 1 to 10 points. Spend some time evaluating, reflecting on the results. You may be shocked by what you find.

When I did this, I realized I indulged in too many energy-draining activities such as social media, news, and politics. It’s easy to lose your balance.

Fill your alone time and “others time” with the most rewarding activities. Create a schedule that reflects this.

Writing Requires a Thick Skin

How many rejection letters have you received?

Imagine Stephen King’s Carrie getting rejected 30 times!

Picture J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter manuscript receiving a dozen rejections from publishers.

Or worse…

Think about Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul, getting rejected 144 times!

Now, imagine if they’d given up writing altogether…

According to LitReactor, King went on to sell 350 million copies of his books. Rowling sold 450 million, and Canfield sold over 500 million!

If you want success, you’d better develop a thick skin.

So, what does it mean to have thick skin?

It means many things:

You believe in your skill as a writer.

You’ve studied the craft, and you do your best to produce your best work. You know enough about writing conventions to know when/how to part with them when it serves the text.

You believe in your ability to learn and grow.

You don’t shy away from learning opportunities — from test driving a fresh spin on your first draft to committing to a total rewrite. You’re eager to take a class or hire a mentor for qualified feedback.

You believe in your ability to adapt to changing markets.

You know that timing plays a role, that trends change and evolve, that your WIP can and will eventually find its audience.

You understand that your writing won’t be embraced by everyone.

You’ve internalized the saying, “to each his own.” There’s a reason why you write in a particular genre. You understand why trying to appeal to everyone is a waste of time.

You know, deep down, you have value to offer your readers.

Perhaps most important is your conviction that you have something to say, that your voice has value — even in a crowded marketplace.

In a nutshell, thick skin points to resilience, adaptability, and resolve.

They’re important traits to keep you moving forward, and they’ll help you embrace what all good writers know:

• You’re likely to hear no more often than yes, so expect it.
• Getting to that all-important yes requires courting more rejections.
• Success in writing means taking risks and putting yourself out there. If you’re not getting rejected, you’re not submitting enough.

In Writing Well, Stephen King admitted that he had to replace a nail on his wall with a spike to hold the weight of his rejection letters.

Now, that’s thick skin.

That’s commitment.

Writing Requires Discipline

Ah, discipline…

For writers, it means more than saying, “I’m starting a novel.”

It means developing a concept, outlining the key parts, showing up to the page, committing to a progress schedule, drafting, revising, editing.

It also means getting up to speed in all these categories, looking for ways to improve.

It doesn’t mean doing the same thing over and over (and expecting a different result).

Discipline requires paying attention to what’s working, to what’s not working, to what you need to stop.

I have students who write terrible papers, and some of them continue to write terrible papers. They return to this discipline, to their path of least resistance. They wear it like a badge of honor.

They think I’m the problem, that I need to come around to their way of thinking.

And that’s just plain stupid.

In my assessments, I point out everything they need to know to write an excellent paper. I’ll often spend 30 minutes pointing out how they can come up a grade level or two.

These same students don’t bother to read my remarks.

20 percent of my students never read their feedback!

Don’t make this mistake.

Discipline requires paying attention, changing course, adjusting your actions to meet current circumstances.

When you commit to an effective writing discipline, your skills improve over time. After completing each new project, you emerge a better writer, and that feels fantastic.

When you commit to an effective discipline, you find a rhythm that boosts your productivity.

For example, writing at the same time each day turns discipline into a habit, a habit that’s easier to continue.

If you never develop discipline, you float from project to project without finishing, never realizing the rewards or your true potential.

So, make a plan.

Choose a worthy project, a daily writing time, a word count, and a finish line. Decide on your end goal, and create a timeline. What needs to happen to get you from point A to B?

Discipline doesn’t have to be a slog. If you set realistic goals, you’ll enjoy the process. It’s a lot more fun achieving; it beats sitting around thinking about it.

So execute, and tick those boxes!

Writing Requires Careful Study

Notice the word careful.

It doesn’t say traditional, expensive, or credentialed study.

And that’s an important distinction.

Writing well requires us to slow down, to evaluate, to consider the best words, the best phrases, the sentence-level connections–in other words, to think carefully, critically.

As we gain competence at the sentence level, we move on to paragraphs, to chapters and beyond.

Think about it.

It makes little sense to consider character arcs and themes when we can’t manage sentence-level mechanics.

New doors and possibilities open as we master each level of writing.

And as our skill level and confidence improves, our worlds expand. We can conceive and tackle projects we never thought possible.

All of this is possible through careful study.

You don’t need a formal education, either.

If one of your goals is a BFA or MFA in creative writing, don’t let me discourage you. Traditional education has its place, and I’m a big fan.

It’s not, however, the only path.

Careful study can include close readings of the classics, of your own favorite writers. You can get a lifetime’s worth of education from sources on the internet.

Look into free courses, paid courses, writing websites, how-to books, grammar sites, Q&A sites, and college textbooks.

We live in the best possible times for readers and writers. You can access anything you want from the comfort of your home.

Click here to view a list of free and paid educational courses for writers (link to other article).***

Writing is a Business

It’s ironic, isn’t it?

Many creatives settle upon writing because they want to avoid working in the business world. They’re turned off by numbers, bosses, marketing, sales teams, and supervisors scrutinizing their productivity.

Does this sound like anyone you know?

In the end, you swap the corporate cubicle for a tiny desk in the spare room.

Consider this:

Any business you can think of has three essential components:

•       products or services,
•       customers or clients, and
•       finances to manage.

Writing is the same. Whether you’re a freelance writer or a budding novelist, you’ll need to prioritize the following steps:

•       Writing your book or article (producing your product)
•       Finding readers (your customers/clients), and
•       Getting paid (managing finances)

To make things worse, you often assume all three roles at the same time.

You, alone, become the writer, the marketer, the financier of your business.

To succeed as a writer, you’ll need to think of yourself as a business person.

This means understanding the basics of running a business, from creating and pricing your products or services to putting them in front of the right audience. In the end, hopefully, you’ll get paid (and the opportunity to manage your finances).

And like any business, there are lots of additional parts to consider:

•       agents,
•       publishers,
•       editors,
•       cover designers, etc..

It’s rarely as simple as doing what you love.

And you’ll need to consistently assess your skill level/readiness, your productivity, the requirements/expectations of your genre, current trends, and your unique place in the market.

After that, you’ll need to learn how to promote yourself.

The good news?

You get to make the decisions.

All of them.

And if you’re creative–truly creative–you can and will find your way.

You’ll enjoy your creative freedom and everything that comes with it. Eventually, you’ll be able to hire good people to take on the roles you’d rather avoid.

You May Need to Pivot to Find Writing Success

I can imagine your thoughts right now.

But I’m a Paranormal Romance Writer!

Every writer has a favorite genre, a comfort zone for reading and writing, but opening yourself to other options may provide leverage you never imagined.

Consider these examples:

• Ian Fleming, well-known for the James Bond spy stories, wrote Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, a popular children’s novel.
• Roald Dahl, before finding enormous success with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, wrote successful, dark short stories for grown-up audiences.
• Stephen King, known for his horror novels, also wrote acclaimed dramas such as Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile.

Rather than sticking to one path, you could start a literary magazine, a blog, a series of writer workshops. In addition to developing new skills, you could get paid for a wide variety of writing activities:

• Take your talent for prose and launch a lucrative grant-writing business.
• Learn copywriting to help local businesses with sales letters, articles, and social media posts.
• Turn your passion for grammar, punctuation, syntax, and word usage into a side hustle in copyediting.

The lesson is in flexibility, in seeking a wider range of options.

When you’re willing to pivot, to look beyond your chosen genre, you can explore teaching, tutoring, developing newsletters, or sharing your work on Medium.

Getting real means opening your eyes to opportunities.

They’re everywhere if you’re willing to look!

So, what do you think?

How well are you embracing the realities of writing?

Join the conversation below.